"girl" brain

I'm not sure when it happened. One day I looked in the mirror with my 25 year old "girl" brain and saw my 50 year old face. My outer appearance and my "girl" brain have a few things to reconcile.

My "girl" brain thinks that I can still work all day, meet the other "girls" for a drink, do some dancing, get a shower and make it to work in the morning fresh and ready to go.

My "girl" brain thinks that those ultra hot high heels would be great to wear.

My "girl" brain still thinks that I look cute in oversized sweats.

My "girl" brain thinks I can have a piece of chocolate AND a piece of cake because I can work it off tomorrow.

The problem is that my Body begs to differ.

I need at least 8 hours of sleep to actually function at work.

If I wear those hot high heels, my knees and feet scream for days.

When your 50, wearing anything oversized makes you look oversized.

My Body has decided that after 50 years, it is going to slow down a bit. I'll be working off that cake for days (if my knees and feet have recovered from the high heels!)

I think that the craziest thing is dating. For some reason, some men my age are "too old" for my "girl" brain. Yes, they are my age, yes they are nice men.....but they are old! I'm sure that some of their "boy" brains thinks I'm too old too.

I'm not really sure how to change this, or even if I should. I love my "girl" brain. It makes me silly. It makes me go surfing. It makes me want to learn the bass guitar. It makes me giggle and dance with my friends. Yes I'm responsible and I know how to act like a grown up. I just don't want to be old. Sometimes the "girl" brain takes over. You'll know it when it happens. I'll be having fun :)

Just Stand Up

The more time I spend in the water on my surf board, the more I see parallels in life. There are so many lessons that help me in daily living. Yesterday I paddled out. The surf wasn't that good and it was breaking all over the place. The first few waves I caught almost took me by surprise and I didn't pop-up as quickly as usual. I heard all those people that helped me learn how to surf say "just stand up". "When you feel the wave catch you, just stand up".

When you are a new surfer, you're not sure if the wave has caught you. You are not sure if you are balanced. You wait too long to pop-up. You have to overcome that feeling to make sure it's all "ok." I would ask "How do I know when?" And they say "Just stand up."

Women especially feel that they have to make it all "ok". We put our needs last. We don't stand up for what we think is right in order to keep the peace. Then I realized I was surfing on Nelson Mandela's birthday. And it rang in my head......

Just Stand Up.

Going Underground

So, those of you that know me well, know that the last year and half has been trial by fire for me. When people cheat.....when people die......when you get really sick.....it shakes your foundation. When all of those things happened to me in the last 18 months, all I wanted to do was to go "underground". I just wanted to hide from the world.

But I am part of the Girl Tribe. I have amazing friends. They understand my need for space but always remind me that I am not alone. So as the first anniversary of my mothers death approaches, my summer becomes more difficult. But my connection to my Outer Banks Family strengthens. They feed me, they call me, they support me. When I burst into tears for no reason, they comfort me.

What is this post about? It's about acceptance and survival. I am part of the Girl Tribe, and we survive.

Old Lady Surfing

As I get older I find that there are not as many opportunites for women to get together and be 'girls'. It seems that most of my contemporaries have responsibilities to their children, husbands, jobs, parents........you know, life in general. We still want to have fun with our friends, be silly and cut loose. But none of us are 25 years old anymore.

So when I decided at the age of 46 to learn how to surf, it was not easy to find someone my age and skill level (or lack of skill level!) to go surfing with. Everyone that was surfing was either young or had been doing it since they were young. But as word got around that this 'old lady' was getting in the water and trying a sport more suited to the young, some the 'girls' thought they could try it too. I commonly heard "I always wanted to try surfing"! So we started a little tribe of women.

Do we want to win contests? No! The Girl Tribe is about acceptance. If you manage to balance on the board while you are paddling, we are happy. If you manage to catch a wave and ride it on your belly, we are excited. If you actually get to your knees and ride the wave we are thrilled. If you catch a wave and stand up and ride it....well you might as well be the king of the world! It's about sharing a common experience, doing something together just because it's fun. If you decide to sit on the beach and drink a 'frufru' drink, that's ok too.

We look silly. We laugh. We get girl time. What more do you want?